Shinobi to Suzaku no Nuriko
by Iron Dragon Maiden
Summary: Naruto/Fushigi Yuugi xover. Crossdressing stone ninja Chou Ryuuen is transported to the Universe of the Four Gods. Wait a minute, since when do shinobi serve under naive priestesses who haven't proven themselves without payment? Nuriko won't. Yaoi


A/N: Okay, I know I should be updating _The Adventures of Urameshi Aiji/Alyssa Potter_ but the plot bunny bit me, hard. The hard enough to draw blood type. Sorry guys couldn't resist. Anyway, I did this xover out of a need to see one of FY with Naruto (their ridiculously scarse BTW) where Nuriko would be the star of the show. Hope you guys like it! As usual, comments, criticism, or just plain a "you suck, go back to the drawing board NOW" will be apprecited.

* * *

"… And another thing, WHAT THE BLUE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!? Even if the brat is an annoying, whinny, incompetent little (censored) (censored) (censored) (censored) doesn't mean that you can call her on it!"

Chuunin, going on Jounin, Chou Ryuuen resisted the urge to either wince or smirk smugly. Getting a "slight reprimand" from the Hachidaime Tsuchikage (or a "royal bitch fit" as his ex-boyfriend Kyohei would fondly call it) was not something that he enjoyed, after all. On the other hand, he was in the right to put the spoiled brat in her place, especially when she was about to botch the mission by pulling the entire "my only love sprung from my only hate" bullshit. Poor Shinomiya-kun was still recovering from the injuries he received from the brat's love interest, all for what? Because the stupid girl was in "love" (this deserves an eye roll) with the same assassin paid to kill her, so _of course_ it was only _natural_ that she order the men her father paid to protect her not to hurt the man!

"What? You're not going to dress me down for killing that rai-nin? Despite the fact that he would have killed the target?" the amethyst haired iwa-nin sneered sardonically. The "if he wanted her dead that badly, I would have personally assisted him" was left unsaid, but it was still palpable in the dark cloud that darkened the Earth Shadow's office.

Grass colored green eyes glared bloody murder at her currently insolent subordinate. Granted, if she had been in his place the stupid civilian would've been roasted alive, then replaced with a more intelligent, useful to humanity as a whole, girl. But, she digresses, and that was also the reason why she had sent Shinomiya Kouji's team to deal with the brat's escort service. Shinomiya-kun, no matter how much the client purposefully botched missions (either consciously or due to stupidity), the weapons' master was disciplined enough that he would correct any mistakes made and continue the mission without twitching.

She had always privately admired the amazing self-restraint the onyx haired boy possessed, even more so now that he was forced to take a beating for an idiot.

The second member and only female of the team, Uesugi Kikyou, was equally as disciplined as Shinomiya. What made the girl even more ideal for this kind of situation was her proficiency in healing and medical jutsu, as well as practice with her paternal cousin Higurashi Kagome. The civilian cousin was basically a good person, don't get her wrong, but she saw herself as a heroine straight from shoujo manga that constantly changes people for the "better." Her decent number of suitors and fanboys only served to deepen her imagination, so young Higurashi-san wanted to find a "tortured soul" to "heal and change for the better." Kikyou dealt with her by ignoring her existence and becoming the "Yuki no Hime" when her cousin got like this.

It seemed to have worked, too well in the Tsuchikage's opinion. When the rai-nin was about to get overconfident and fatal, Kikyou had stabbed their moronic client in the thigh with a sedative-coated kunai. Apparently, the twilight tressed girl had had enough of her client but didn't want to be blamed for her "attack" by not using her trademark senbons. Ryuuen didn't seem to mind taking the rap, he was far to enraged to care; besides that just meant that Kikyou would owe him a nice home-cooked bento lunch for a whole month.

The first female Tsuchikage was glad that there was a deep, ingrained loyalty between the members of the former Team 9. But still, the client had been the daughter of an important Daimyo… to heal Shinomiya-kun, dispose of the rai-nin without a second thought towards the girl's feelings, and then ignore the hysterical girl (or dress her down like Chou-kun did) … but still, the condition that Kouji-kun came back in...

Weather-beaten lips pulled up into a frustrated snarl as her thoughts turned in that vicious cycle of politics and practicality. This was the part of her job that she detested with a passion, especially when she had to deal with over-indulging powerful parents.

The last member of the team, the earth and plant jutsu master, stared right back at her with accusing garnet eyes. Chou-kun was as practical as his two teammates, though he was much more honest than the dark haired duo. Whenever he was displeased with something he would say so and why, not always in the most polite fashion. However, the crossdresser was intimately aware of the political repercussions of doing so to certain clients, so he would keep quiet until the mission was over to speak his mind. Unless if the client did something that nearly got everyone killed that is.

So what went wrong? She had an efficient and competent team that worked well together, the mission was a simple escort to Iwagakure from Konohagakure, and the assassin was a mere desperate genin nukenin who never made it to chuunin hoping to make some money. There were hardly any bandits out there at this time, most too busy celebrating the "Criminals' Carnival" in Kirigakure for Amaterasu's sake!

So what went wrong? I'll tell you what, the client did that's what!

"Look Chou-kun" she started, some formalities had to be kept, "don't misunderstand me. The situation you were in called for some unorthodox methods to be utilized both on the client and the aggressor, I more than agree with that. However, extenuating circumstances or no, the fact is that her father is one of the more influential Daimyo of Iwagakure. If he so wishes, he can make the country go into poverty; and unfortunately for us, his daughter has him wrapped around her pinky finger"

Snarling lips opened to defend his case and criticize said man for his favoritism, however the Eight's raised hand stopped him. Just.

"Nevertheless, hysterical lovesick daughter or no, he also concurs that had the three of you followed her orders completely, you all would have died and his daughter as well. Hence why he is covering all of Shinomiya-kun's medical bills until he has recovered completely from the assault, as it is technically his daughter's fault."

"But he is going to demand something of me for breaking his daughter's oh-so-fragile-heart" Ryuuen concluded with a leer.

"Under normal circumstances, yes he would. But he isn't the only powerful Daimyo this country has, and any kind of action against the team that did its job properly would be disastrous for his reputation, also many of his allies and rivals are just looking for an excuse to eliminate him from the political scene, so to speak." The Tsuchikage looked at the chuunin pointedly, not bothering to hide her words and their meanings.

'I see, so either she already has someone gathering information against him incase he tries something, or she wants me to do it' Ryuuen surmised. That would not be a problem, anything to avenge Kouji and hang it over the stupid girl and her miserable family. Just remembering the dirty look sent their way, almost as if the man had smelled something unpleasant, made Ryuuen want to bash the asshole's face in.

The Tsuchikage made a series of hand seals too fast for Ryuuen to follow. A couple of seconds later, some chakra charged light appeared around the office, 'No doubt to keep spies and good-intentioned eavesdroppers from listening in.'

No surprise there, tensai kunoichi Yukinojo Ume did not become the first female Tsuchikage at the tender age of 35 for nothing.

A focused jadeite stare had him conclude that his second hypothesis was the correct one.

"I need you specifically to find any and all dirt, no matter what shape or size, on Daimyo Tsukino. As no one outside of your friends knows of your crossdressing on your free time, or if they do I doubt that they will recognize you since I know of your discretion"

'In other words: dye my hair, wear eye contacts, and basically be another person' Ryuuen translated.

"This will be a solo mission, as Kouji is obviously out of commission and Kikyou would be recognized by the daughter. I need you, Ryuuen, to infiltrate as one of the maids, find physical evidence if you can, and report to me everything that you find, no matter how insignificant." Ume-sama paused, looking at Ryuuen in the eye, "Do you accept this mission?"

Ryuuen smirked, malice and joy at the chance of retribution dancing in his garnet eyes, "Mission accepted"

* * *

Hence why our hero is now wearing a cheap-looking soft grey kimono with a cream colored obi, the standard uniform for the maids in the Tsukino residence. Ryuuen, of course, being one of the few people that can make that plain kimono look elegant on him, had men of all ages drooling after him while on-duty.

As even a busty woman had her cleavage covered by the layered clothes, there was no need for Ryuuen to use fake breasts to fool people. In fact, in Ryuuen's humble opinion, the only person whose rack would be obvious in a kimono is the Godaime Hokage Tsunade-sama.

Ryuuen's waist length plum hair was dyed a pretty shade of oak brown, his garnet eyes shielded by lapis blue contact lenses betrayed no emotion. A bit of concealer was applied to the mole bellow his left eye and his hair was out of its trademark braid.

All in all, Ryuuen looked like a completely different person: an unassuming, pretty girl who just happened to work for the Tsukino family.

In a week's time, Ryuuen had successfully infiltrated the Daimyo's household and had gained willing informants (without said informants being aware of their new roles).

As there were too many maids to count and the aristocratic family was too arrogant to think that any harm could come to them from the inside, it was a piece of cake for Ryuuen to assume the role of a maid.

Due to his beauty, many of the stable hands, butlers and any other male employees in the household were only too pleased to show the new girl the ropes and the open secrets of the place. Ryuuen only helped the mission by acting like a vapid but kind-hearted girl, with his looks he had the men salivating for his attention.

'Disgusting' Ryuuen wrinkled his nose. He knew that were it not for his beauty, his so-called naiveté and stupidity would not be received warmly by the men. 'It gets the job done,' Ryuuen's half-hearted attempt at quailing his feminist side was met with negative results. Even after he had gotten that interesting tidbit about the fraud mining fiasco from the old caretaker in one of his moments to show off his intimate knowledge of the inner workings in the Tsukino Clan, Ryuuen had felt the intense need to apologize to Kikyou and any other girl like her for representing women to be insipid and harmless creatures.

By a month's time, Ryuuen had found and reported enough information to ruin the family economically, politically, and even socially. The old bastard wouldn't want his socialite wife, daughter and buddies to hear that he was a bastard child that had murdered his legitimate brother for the money and title. Ryuuen smirked at his successful mission; deception was one of his strong points.

Best part of all? He didn't have to sexually service anyone. The Tsukinos' arrogance went so far that the plum haired ninja could cast sensory genjutsu for hours without people noticing. Hence why he could pull the old "sleep and interrogate" trick without degrading himself. He had never done so for any mission and he wasn't about to start now.

Placing some books and documents of relevance in his discreet satchel, Ryuuen left the Tsukino household with nary a person noticing his absence. 'You've gotta love Kikyou's memory altering elixir. I knew there was a reason that I supported her crazy medical experiments!'

"Well done, Ryuuen-kun. With this information, even if some is a year old, we should have more than enough to blackmail Daimyo Tsukino if he tries anything," jadeite eyes allowed a twinkle of pleasure and a hint of pride to be displayed.

Ryuuen allowed a moment of smug delight. It was not that often that the Tsuchikage was in a good mood, usually she reserved her good humor for her husband and left her rather foul temper and perfectionist attitude for her subordinates.

The garnet eyed ninja did have to admit though, even if women didn't appeal to him sexually, he could easily understand why his leader's husband was so loyal. The Tsuchikage had a brilliant mind, sharper than any of her weapons; combined with her seldom shown pleasant personality and sarcastic (mayhap sadistic) sense of humor, and we had one attractive woman.

'Too bad she's taken, a woman, and I don't swing that way' Ryuuen dryly mocked himself.

"What's this for though?"

Ryuuen snapped to attention, 'The Universe of the Four Gods? How did that get there?'

"Ume-sama, with all due respect, that isn't supposed to be there. In fact, I'm 83 percent sure that the book was nowhere near my vicinity when I acquired the evidence" Ryuuen frowned.

"Will this be missed?" a copper eyebrow was raised.

Ryuuen snorted, "Unless if the book has any reference to business, Tsukino Hojo won't give anything else much thought. The rest of the books in his library are all for show and to impress his guest on how 'cultured' he is for having a 'well-rounded' library."

"And the mother and daughter? What of the other servants, do they use the neglected books?"

"The mother and daughter are the very definition of socialite kept women. All they do is plan parties, redecorate the house when they feel like it, go to spas, shop, and any other activity similar to those. And the servants don't usually try to read anything for fear of misplacing something and facing the man's wrath"

Ryuuen caught the book before his brain registered that his leader had tossed it to him.

She shrugged, "Keep it then, but don't let anyone know where it came from, understood?" Seeing Ryuuen nod, she dismissed him, but not before allowing him to change out of his disguise in the private room next door to her office.

* * *

"Oooooh, Kouji-sama! You're still hurt all over, please allow me to give you my special treatment! You'll feel much better afterwards, I promise" a sultry, alto fangirlish voice was heard in room # 409 of Morikino Hospital. The room occupied by the patient Shinomiya Kouji and his non-fangirl visitor Uesugi Kikyou.

15 year old Kouji was the epitome of discipline and hard-work. He would always strive to better himself in any aspect of his life, he never got cocky because he was naturally good at something and believed that hard-work can overcome any deficit in talent – a philosophy that he shared with his two teammates. Most important of all, he faced his fears with steel eyes and a diamond backbone.

Well… most of his fears anyhow… fangirls, for idols like Kouji or Uchiha Sasuke, are always an exception.

The onyx haired youth broke out in cold sweat, clinging to Kikyou's hand in a silent plea to protect him from the… the… _creature_. His normally laser-like eyes were unfocused and darted from place to place like a spooked filly. His inability to even walk on his own only served to terrify him more.

Fangirls are, without a doubt, the most dangerous and fearsome creatures that have ever walked on this Earth. Orochimaru had nothing on them, Kouji would vouch on that.

Kikyou, however, didn't even twitch an eyebrow. And that caused Kouji to fear for his life. With Ryuuen out on his information gathering mission – Kouji hated to think of it as _spying_, as it stung his honorable sensibilities a bit – Kikyou was his only line of defense against the rabid beasts.

'Perhaps this is her way of punishing me for obeying that suicidal order of Tsukino-san. She and Ryuuen are always complaining about me being too deferent towards authority.' Kouji's surprisingly coherent and logical thought, considering the circumstance and his state of mind, nearly made the weapons' master swear his allegiance to anarchy if it meant Kikyou would protect him from the monsters!

Kikyou allowed Kouji to sweat for a few more minutes before responding with an amused "Ryuuen, it's not nice to tease the injured"

'Eh?'

With a saucy smirk, and pure enjoyment at getting his "drive impassive Kouji up the wall" quota alighting his eyes, Ryuuen entered the room where his two cellmates could properly look at him.

Trying to regain his composure, Kouji dryly asked, "For someone supposedly NOT interested in molesting me, you are far too overdressed for a social call"

"Oh, but darling! Don't you know that all those times we had to share a room or a tent my thoughts were interested in what you would do to me with a pair of handcuffs," Ryuuen's hips swayed from side to side as he lessened the distance between him and his male cellmate, "ropes, whips, chains," he crawled over the bed and Kouji's body, his face separated from the weapons master's by mere centimeters, "the lube" the plum-haired beauty breathed as he licked Kouji's lips sensually.

Not to be outdone, Kouji opened his mouth and teased Ryuuen's tongue into his warm cavern. Playing a game of tag long familiar to their masters, the two tongues caressed one another. Feeling the squishy, warm and lively appendages stroke the sensitive nerve points and oral erogenous zones, Ryuuen and Kouji moaned in mutual pleasure.

As Ryuuen enjoyed Kouji's tongue stroking the roof of his mouth, the plum-hared ninja gasped as Kikyou externally stimulated his prostrate through the velvet green skirt he wore. His only indication that he belonged to the masculine gender began to rise in tandem with Kouji's. The bed shifted as Kikyou straddled Ryuuen's back, her heat tangible through the layers of clothes on the feminine cellmates.

Before things could get hot and dirty, a cacophony of gasps, shrieks, and denials of "he's not taken!!! He can't be!" interrupted the threesome.

'Fangirls' Squad Nine identified.

Normally the fan-girls would conclude that Kouji is a polygamous heterosexual with a special place in his heart for Kikyou. However, Ryuuen's long plum hair was loose and covering his right side (the side facing the door), and, of course, took attention away from his skirt clad lower body. Hence why the fangirls correctly deduced, for once, that Kouji was about to have sex with his male and female teammate.

"How can I compete with that!?!"

"Dammit, I knew I should've begged harder to be on his team!!!"

"My brother is flexible, we can have a threesome! We'll be better than Chou and Uesugi!!"

"Fuck, that's HOT!!!"

Fed up with the fangirls, Kouji and Kikyou gave them their patented death glares, "If you don't mind" Kouji coldly stated.

As much as they were obsessed with him, the fangirls knew better than to ignore the infamous Shinomiya and Uesugi DEATH GLARES tm. Some blushed, some stammered apologies, some leered perversely at the scene; but the effect was the same: they fled from the room and hospital with their proverbial tails between their wet legs.

"Bwahhahahaha" silent tears of filled with hilarity streaked down Ryuuen's cheeks. His shoulders shook, and his arms and legs gave under him from laughter.

Kouji oofed as Ryuuen fell on him, "I don't know what is so humorous, bishoujo, but those girls just killed my boner" he dryly mentioned, straight-faced.

"Now the mood is dead" Kikyou complained, furious at the prospect at being left high and dry, "Useless waste of perfectly good oxygen" she scoffed disdainfully.

"Dead, huh?" the newly recovered Ryuuen simpered, "Poor babies, I guess I'll have to do something about it" he cooed as his right hand started reawakening Kouji junior for some fun, while his left hand boldly traveled underneath Kikyou's skirt and panties to massage her vulva.

Kikyou purred, topaz eyes dripping with desire as her plum-haired friend expertly stroked the most sensitive parts of her clitoris. His slender fingers started from her outer lips to her center, his touch slow and firm, bringing her to high ecstasy without trying. "More to the center…fuck! That feels good" she panted.

Kouji's more animalistic side was getting a hold of him. Injured or not, this alpha male was going to mate with his beta male and alpha female tonight, right here and now! He growled as Ryuuen's lightly calloused hand fisted itself on his manhood, the slight imperfections adding wonderful friction that nearly made him come undone.

Ryuuen beamed in triumph, 'dead mood my naturally perfect ass,' and anticipated a long session with his best friends.

'Who said that ukes can't dominate?'

Three naked figures on the hospital bed were panting from the pleasurable activities of minutes prior.

For shinobi, Squad Nine all had pale skin, as if they had rarely seen the sun, which is quite far from the truth. The three bodies of different shaded cream were cuddling together, sharing their warmth and love.

Ryuuen sighed pleasantly, 'Life is beautiful!' He had nothing to complain about in his life: he had a job that he loved, the pay was good, he was well on his way to being one of the elite, he had a decently priced apartment that served his everyday needs, he had enough time and pocket money to indulge in his hobby, and most important of all, he had the best friends anyone could ask for.

"We should at least put some clothes on" Kouji broke the comfortable silence, "The last thing we need is for the nurses to kick you two out and ban you from visiting me for 'deviant tendencies'" his deep voice mocked the imaginary nurses' sermon.

"You mean you guys haven't been at it while I was away?"

Kikyou snorted, "Please, Ryuu, give us some credit; as if we would just have a nice roll in the hay while you were playing Lord-my-daughter-is-an-inept-bitch's maid. As your teammates and best friends, that'd be just foul."

"Especially since part of the reason you agreed to take that mission was to avenge me in some way" Kouji's tone may have been blasé, but the gratitude in his dark eyes conveyed how much the intent meant to him.

"Aw, Ki-chan, Kou-chan, are you two getting sappy on me? That's got to be the sweetest thing I've ever heard you two say" Ryuuen cooed, and sucked on Kikyou's sensitized earlobe and stroked the pleasure points in Kouji's nape as reward for their kindness. And for actually admitting it, that is.

"Don't get used to it, you ponce" Kikyou and Kouji deadpanned. Their bodies betrayed their pleasure, however, as they started to vibrate with shivers of delight.

Ryuuen merely giggled girlishly and reluctantly rose from the bed, a similarly disinclined Kikyou joined him in dressing themselves in their discarded-in-a-heat-of-passion clothes. Kouji merely reached to his right night stand and put on his paper hospital gown, 'Why don't I just stay naked while I'm there?' he thought derisively.

When Kikyou grabbed her brown vest from above Ryuuen's satchel, a well-worn red book, on the edge of falling apart, slid out of the open bag.

"What's this Ryuu?"

"Just a little souvenir from the Tsukinos'"

Kouji frowned, "Was it really necessary to steal from them if it wasn't relevant to the mission?"

"I didn't, not on purpose anyhow. I must have taken it by accident and by the time I found out that I took it, it was too late to go back"

Kouji narrowed his eyes, looking into the garnet eyes of his pretty friend to see if he was lying. Not that it would help much, Ryuuen could probably lie to the dead soul of his mother without blinking and not be discovered. But at the same time, he knew that if Ryuuen wanted to get a more hands on revenge, he would have set the family's various wardrobes on fire. For a shinobi with earth and wood inclinations, Ryuuen was a bit of a pyromaniac.

Kikyou rolled her eyes, "Doesn't matter, does it? If it's something valuable then the old fart deserves it. The only thing I'm worried about is what'll happen to you if it's found in your possession" she raised an eyebrow at Ryuuen.

He let out an unlady-like snort in response, "Please, you're giving him too much credit, Ki-chan. That book was only for show"

"To show off how cultured he was, no doubt" her lips twitched in irony, she hated philistines, so did Kouji and Ryuuen for that matter.

"Exactly" Ryuuen deadpanned. His expression brightened, though, when he fluffed up Kouji's pillow and pulled up a chair for himself.

"What are you gonna do?" Kikyou asked a she sat down on her own chair. When her garnet-eyed friend signaled for her to hand over the book, she placed on his awaiting hand.

"Isn't it obvious?" a cheeky grin was her response, "I'm going to be a good nursemaid and read to the poor patient and his visitor some fine literature!"

"You don't have to Ryuu—" Kouji was cut off by Kikyou's, "Oh, let him have some fun Kou, if nothing else it'll keep us entertained until we're all kicked out"

"But—"

"Have you got a better idea of what we can do" Kikyou challenged, her eyes twinkling in mischief as she recalled their earlier actions, "aside from the obvious"

"Just because you forgot the go board" Kouji mumbled.

Ryuuen smiled, pleased that he got his way, opened the worn pages of the ancient book and began to read the first words:

"_Herein contains the tale of a young man and his quest as a constellation of Suzaku to assist in the gathering of the other six and their priestess together. _

_And if you, the esteemed reader, should read to the story's end, the spell contained within this book shall bestow upon you the powers of the hero. _

_For indeed the moment the first page is turned, the story will become reality."_

Suddenly, foreign red chakra was rolling in waves from the book. Its victim: Ryuuen.

"Ryuuen! Drop that book! It's after you!!" Kikyou shrieked in alarm. Panicked topaz eyes glanced at Kouji to see if he was alright. 'Is it after Ryuuen because he read it? The book _has_ to be destroyed!!'

"I can't!!!" cried Ryuuen, his garnet eyes wide with terror, "My hands are glued to it!!" his eyes saw a sharp scalpel 'Maybe I can cut the book and the jutsu will terminate itself' Only to find that his body was heavier than he could bear, almost as if the Mountain of Iwagakure was on his back.

"Guys—"

"I can't move!!!!" Kikyou and Kouji, who got the same idea as Ryuuen, also felt as though an elephant were sitting on them.

"Me neither!!!" were Ryuuen's last words as the red light entrapped him and engulfed him, spiraling back into the first pages of the book.

When the frightful and harmful ordeal was over, Kikyou and Kouji were able to move again, though trembling with horror and rage at what happened to their dear friend.

Shakily Kikyou made her way to the book, picked it up and sat down on the nearest chair, her legs unable to support her from the tremors. It was one thing to watch a loved one perish in battle, but this? She didn't know what the fuck happened to Ryuuen, but she hoped that he was at least still alive and sane. She didn't know what to feel, other than the driving need find out what happened to her lovely friend, other than that, she felt… numb. 'Last time I felt that way was when I first killed' came a surprisingly observant, yet unbidden, thought.

Kouji's eyes narrowed in fury, his skilled and practiced fingers clutching the scalpel they had failed to seek in the moment of truth. He didn't know what or who his fury was directed at: at the book for taking Ryuuen away, at Ryuuen for activating the mysterious jutsu and not letting go of the monstrosity, at Kikyou for not being able to warn Ryuuen earlier, or at himself for not being able to do that much.

Deep within his heart, Kouji knew that his rage was directed towards himself for having failed a member of his team. He was team leader, he should have better protected his team, his pack, his family. And now, Ryuuen was going to pay for his lack of protection.

"Kami-sama!!! This can't be possible!" Kikyou's shout snapped Kouji out of his self-hate. 'Now isn't the time for guilt, it's a time for action' he steeled himself, and the calm, calculating leader of Squad Nine emerged.

"What is it Kikyou?" he mentally thanked her for being so efficient even under impossible circumstances.

Haunted topaz eyes met his obsidian ones, making him fear for Ryuuen's life all the more, "Look" she whispered, disturbed at what she had read.

"_This particular constellation of Suzaku, the hero of the story, is known as Nuriko, the Court Warrior. His birth name, however, is Chou Ryuuen." _

* * *

Ryuuen tried to rein his panic to a manageable level as he analyzed with a professional ninja's cool mind his surroundings. 'Desert plains, no plant life and the rocks can barely pass off as pebbles. No water or pond in sight, possibly not until the closest village. Possibility of camouflage without using Henge or high-level genjutsu: 7,8 percent.'

'Did that book transport me to Sunagakure?' Ryuuen pondered. It was possible, as the hidden village itself was protected by an unforgiving desert. However, the one in Sunagakure was much more scorching, and Ryuuen would've been sunburned five minutes of lying on the sand. Besides, there was no motive: ever since Sabaku no Gaara became Kazekage, relations between Iwagakure and Sunagakure were smoother. And if it was a fanatic Suna-nin hoping to take out powerful Iwa-nin just to prove that Suna was better, then he or she wouldn't have been stupid enough to either choose Ryuuen as a target or the Suna desert as a murder setting. Ryuuen wasn't an especially powerful shinobi, not compared to some people like the Iwa Hyuugas or the ANBU, he wasn't at his prime yet either. Besides, Gaara had set up guards to prevent scenarios like this as a show of good faith.

Gaara, despite all his faults, was a good man and a good leader. Ryuuen, Kikyou and Kouji had come to know him decently well on a semi-diplomatic mission – more like "give this scroll to the Kazekage, make sure he reads it and has a response before you come back" assignment – and from what they could tell, he really wanted what was best for his people, if only to prove that he was not the same as the demon trapped inside his body. Ryuuen privately thought that the villagers of Suna got their just desserts when a younger Gaara went on constant rampages. It was their own fault for blaming and shunning the boy for a crime he did not commit.

'Was this a trap set up for Tsukino, then?' Ryuuen latched onto the next logical conclusion as he hid himself using a low-level chameleon earth jutsu on himself. His honed instincts were screaming at him to hide and wait "until the enemy opens the gate."

It would make sense if it was a trap meant for the Daimyo. After all, Ryuuen wasn't supposed to have the red book in his possession, so maybe however did this was probably paid to kill the old fart near this mild-version of the Suna desert. It was well known that many Daimyo didn't care for the shinobi that protected their country, and that sometimes they abused them financially. Maybe someone else decided to have a more hands on revenge on him, like Ryuuen had wished to inflict? Or was it a sort of powerplay between the Daimyo of other countries?

'If that's the case, then however put the transportation jutsu is obviously a proletarian spy. Good at advanced sealing, jutsu creation and execution, but bad at info gathering.' Ryuuen silently grimaced, he had figured out the family's habits by the fourth day. Either the shinobi was in too much of a hurry that he didn't notice the books that Tsukino-teme read, or said shinobi was about as observant as a blind man searching for a black cat in a dark room. 'Humph, amateur'

Ryuuen closed his eyes, allowing his senses to extend. He tried to feel for the nearest human chakra source, to no avail. There was something close to chakra, but it seamed to be composed completely of the "Heavenly" part of chakra without the "Earthly" one. 'That's odd' he frowned, 'you need both the mental energy (Heaven) and the physical energy (Earth) to make chakra. Could this be another nature-defying experiment of Orochimaru?' he though with frightening dread. If that was the case, then he was a dead man walking. Thoughts of being in the most insane of the Sannin's hands scared him more than a violent death in battle did. At least in the latter it's only painful for a few minutes and you don't give the other side as much advantage as the former.

'Calm down, Ryuuen! It's probably just a biological malfunction, like the case with the Konoha-nin Rock Lee who can't use chakra at all. Or it's probably just the fact that you're too tired to think straight, not that I can in normal circumstances anyhow.' Ryuuen smirked at his private joke. Someone in the team had to laugh in the face of danger.

"Kai!"

Nothing happened. 'So there's no shinobi here?' After rolling it over in his mind for a few seconds, Ryuuen, relieved, came to the conclusion that it couldn't be Orochimaru's handiwork. Yakushi Kabuto, as Orochimaru's best spy, would've been more than thorough at the mission. If that were the case, then Tsukino would've already been sent here the minute he opened one of his financial journals or documents. The same goes with any of the Akatsuki's spies.

'I'm not going to figure out where the fuck I am by sitting here. It's already a given that there's no shinobi around, they'd have attacked me by now, otherwise. Chances are, they probably wanted to leave Tsukino-teme for the bandits, that way no one could pin the murder on them' Reassured, Ryuuen set out to where the two bizarre chakra signatures were at, only to find two girls in short brown skirts and brown blazers sleeping on the sandy ground as they held each other.

Ryuuen studied the two girls. One was taller than the other by two inches and was holding her smaller companion as if to protect her. She had short blonde hair that barely reached the nape of her neck and her chin was unconsciously tucking in the head of her friend. 'Or maybe lover' Ryuuen mused. The other girl was about 5'0'' with reddish-brown hair pulled in a side bun. From the small amount of hair on the left bun, Ryuuen would wager that her right side had a similar bun to the left one. 'Who wears the odango style other than children?'

Ryuuen narrowed his eyes, despite the redhead's infantile hairstyle and juvenile face, he'd give her about 13 or 14 years of age. The blonde seemed to be either 15 or 16, maybe an unfortunate 17 year old that hadn't yet hit a growth spurt. 'Either she's mature for her age, even in her sleep, or the poor girl is ridiculously flatchested'

'What the Hell are two civilian school girls doing here?' Had they been caught in a trap meant for the Tsukino heiress? Possible, none of them resembled her or anyone of the Tsukino family.

His musings were interrupted as the blonde stirred, opening her lids to reveal intelligent and panicked blue eyes. 'I know how you feel'

"Oh my—" she cut herself off as she noticed that her companion had yet to wake up, "Miaka, wake up, NOW! Now's not the time for a nap!"

"Miaka" woke up at her friend's screaming, opening olive brown-green eyes sleepily. 'Not the best of survival reactions'

"Yui-chan where are we?" she asked, her mind probably not processing her surroundings due to sleep or panic. 'Probably the former'

"If I knew that I wouldn't have panicked!" Yui snapped back. Ryuuen could see her mind working out the puzzle behind her blue eyes, horrified as she found an apparent answer. Ryuuen stayed hidden as he waited to see what hypothesis she would come up with, it was his best shot to ascertain his position.

"Miaka" Yui gulped, "do you remember the part about the book giving us the powers of the hero and that the story begins when the first page is turned?"

'What?' Ryuuen 'that's the same thing that the first page of "The Universe of the Four Gods" said. Not only is this guy an amateur but a one-trick pony too'

"Something like that, yeah" Miaka responded with apprehension, "Why?"

"I think we're it, Miaka. I think we're in the book!"

'That's preposterous, it's probably just a scare-tactic' Ryuuen scoffed.

"WHAT!?!?"

"It's true, we're in the Universe of the Four Gods! Do you know what that means!?"

"Of course I know! It means no more Dunkin' Donuts, no more Haagen Daaz, no more McDonalds', no more Au Bon Pain, no more Mr. Swirley—"

"Is food all you ever think about!?!?!" Yui barked as se cut her friend's gastronomical litany short.

'Nice set of priorities' Ryuuen bit the inside of his cheek to stifle his laughter. 'Why don't you whine about the lack of a hot bath while you're at it?' Out of all Squad Nine, Ryuuen was the only one that cold find hilarity even in the most dire circumstances. 'Since I'm here, might as well milk it for all it's worth'

His humor left when he sensed a group of people, five at most coming towards the girls. They smelled foul, even at this distance Ryuuen could feel their stench, almost as if the group had not bathed in years. 'Bandits? Here to take care of the job? Do they even know who their target is?' Probably not, if however did this wanted to off Tsukino without anyone noticing. They probably just told the bandits that they'd provide the victims, whilst the bandits provided the murder. Harder to trace the mastermind that way. 'Maybe not so proletarian after all' he conceded. 'But, if I capture them, I'll at least get a name'

"Well, well boys look what we have here" one of the men jeered.

"Some wee lasses all alone in the desert" another mooned as he racked his eyes up and down the girls' pre-pubescent bodies.

"For the outfits we'd get a good price at the market, what say you?' a third questioned the one to his right.

"Just our luck to find unsuspecting and unarmed maidens in the middle of nowhere" a fourth celebrated.

"Now really, would a maiden wear an outfit so short? Their dresses barely cover their thighs! Strumpets, they are"

Ryuuen's blood ran cold as he reached a not-so-favorable epiphany. 'Just our luck? You mean this wasn't pre-planned?' Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Ryuuen decided that now was the time to act, answers can come later. Shinobi fight for those that cannot protect themselves, and that is why Ryuuen is going to protect these schoolgirls from the slave-traders (the "market" comment had given them away).

Dispensing the chameleon earth jutsu, Ryuuen stepped up to the filthy men, "Is there a problem here?" he coolly demanded, raising a plum eyebrow ala Tsuchikage-sama.

"Three maidens! Now I say we're lucky!"

"Forget those two, this one's a jewel"

"We'll live like nobles if we sell this one!"

Ryuuen developed a tic in his eyebrow, his fury and annoyance palpable in the dark cloud above his head. Of course, the idiot men were too self-absorbed to notice and the girls were too scared to pay attention to anything else.

'I forgot I'm dressed like a girl' Ryuuen remembered. As a 5'5'' female with a knee-length velvet skirt with slits on either side, a georgette lilac blouse and a jean jacket; he didn't look too threatening, despite the aura of "fuck with me and die" surrounding him.

'This is the one thing that I hate about crossdressing! When push goes to shove, guys don't take me seriously as a girl unless if I kick their sorry arses!'

"Please, as if I'd let low lives like you even touch me. Besides that, I'm no one's bitch"

"What did you say you little whore!!"

"Are you deaf as well as stupid?"

"We're gonna fuck you over, slut, before we sell ya to the sleaziest slimeball out there"

"Is that so?" Ryuuen mocked, "I'd like to see you amateurs try" he slid his hand on the inside pocket of his jacket, searching for something.

'Is she reaching for a gun or something?' Yui wondered, staring in awe at her unlikely savior. 'I doubt that these goons will understand what a gun is, but after the first shot we should be safe, then—"

Ryuuen whipped out his latest copy of _Icha Icha Piracy_. Yui facevaulted, Miaka stared at the forbidden sign at the back in confusion, and the slave-traders were outraged.

"What?" Ryuuen demanded as he leafed to the first page, "aren't you boys going to attack me?"

"Y-you, but, that's a book!"

"Of course it's a book. I've been dieing to find out whether Kaoru and Tetsuya hook up and have steamy sex for months!" he snorted "Carry on, it's not like any of you will land a blow on me"

"I'm gonna rearrange the size of your face cunt!"

"You will rue the day you were born strumpet!"

"Fucking scarlet woman!"

The three that cried these obscene phrases died before they hit the ground. Each had a shuriken to the heart, throat, lungs, liver and cock. The last two stared at their fallen comrades in fear, they did not want to end up like them. The smarter one of the two glanced at the petrified schoolgirls, they were probably their only chance at getting out of this alive. 'Mental note to self: next time, be weary of beautiful women that are not scared when threatened'

"Don't even think about it, bozo" Ryuuen said mildly, a sinister tone barely imperceptible in his laidback voice. The men and Yui, however, noticed it immediately. "Go within five feet of those girls and I'll castrate you using a blunt kunai. You won't have the luxury of dieing quickly and relatively painlessly either."

Danger noted, Yui grabbed Miaka firmly by the elbow and dragged her further away from the danger zone. 'Smart girl' Ryuuen praised.

"Now really, this is just pathetic. Five guys to take down one girl?" a new male voice resounded. 'What? How come I didn't sense him?' Ryuuen eyed the newcomer suspiciously, his knuckles white from clenching on the book too hard, 'Is he the mastermind behind all this? Or is he the boss of these asses?'

"Though I do have to admit, she is pretty skilled to have taken three down in one go" the young man praised Ryuuen.

"And who are you supposed to be, Mister Knight in Shining Armor?" the dumber of the two slave-traders sneered. The smarter one began to sweat, the odds didn't look too good for them.

'Great, so this guy isn't their boss. Possible mastermind, if he hid his identity. Motive: Unknown.' Ryuuen hated these type of people in danger zones, just because he liked surprising people doesn't mean that he likes the action to be reciprocated.

"I don't suppose we can wrap this up?" Ryuuen asked with a simpering smile, "I, for one, can't in good conscience let men like you two live. If only because you rape and sell men, women and children for sport" before anyone could blink, two kunai were lodged on the men's penises. Their howls of agony filled the entire plain, making all sorts of creatures flee from the area.

The young man gulped and covered his groin with a fist, Miaka turned her head away from the violence, but Yui caught Ryuuen's eye and gave him a pleased nod. No doubt the blonde felt vindicated, these men were about to rape Miaka and her, castration was the least punishment one can ask for in these circumstances.

"Now, are you boys going to continue this vile life?" Ryuuen asked cheerfully, as if he had not just impaled the men's loins with sharp knives.

"You dirty cunt! You'll pay for this!" the dumber man lunged at Ryuuen in rage, only to be flipped on his back and have the kunai taken out forcefully, a large hole weeping blood between his penis and his sack.

The other man, seeing that the beautiful demoness – for what else could this vicious woman be but that? – busy with his idiot partner made to flee. He who retreats fights another day, but he won't fight this demoness ever again!

A swift punch to his solar plexus deterred him from his escape. The young man stood in front of him with an angry mask on his handsome face, "What kind of coward flees like that!?"

"The sane ones, that's who!" cried the man as he lunged at the stranger, knowing that his survival counted on getting away before the demoness was done with his partner.

The young man, unfortunately, was a skilled martial artist. Hence why after three minutes the slave-trader was knocked unconscious from the powerful yet graceful blows.

Meanwhile, before the young man dealt with the other man, Ryuuen kindly told Miaka and Yui "You might want to turn around and close your ears, this won't be pretty"

Before Miaka could protest on the pre-planned brutality, Yui used her superior strength and athletism to spin her around and covered Miaka's ears. The blonde may want revenge and a great part of her approved of the punishment dealt on her near-rapist, however she knew that she had a weak stomach for excessive violence. She could handle the sounds but not the visuals.

Ryuuen smiled simpering little grin, one that concubines give to Emperors they are obliged to please, as he slashed off the slave-trader's means of urinating. The man's pained howls were muffled as he was gagged with his own cock. The revulsion on his face as he struggled not to accidentally swallow the appendage made Ryuuen place the kunai near the man's throat. "Now just image how repulsed your victims were when you forced yourself on them" he said softly, his voice not going above a whisper. And that freezing soft voice was scarier than the most bestial snarl.

"Mff gge" Ryuuen didn't pay any attention to the foul being's muffled words. Rapists deserved no pity and they won't get any from Ryuuen.

"In the next life, do yourself a favor and respect others. Otherwise, I will hunt your reincarnated rapist ass and torture you to death" without waiting for an answer, Ryuuen plunged his kunai in the man's heart.

'Yuck, now I've got blood on my hands. At least none of my clothes were stained. Blood is a bitch to wash off.'

He was glad that he had pocketed his precious _Icha Icha Piracy_ before he dealt with the fucker, though. He waited a long time for that volume to come out and he was not going to disrespect the precious by staining it with this monster's blood.

"Here" he glanced at a white handkerchief in front of his face, his garnet eyes traveled up to a slender blazer-clad arm to a mature face with blue eyes and a grateful smile.

"Thanks" he accepted the cloth, whipping his hands on it, "I'll return it clean as soon as we get some water"

"Don't worry about it" the girl shrugged it off, "you save us we save your clothes"

"W-Why did you kill him?" the redhead, Miaka, stuttered upon seeing the facedown corpse. Thankfully, she couldn't see the apex still inside the man's mouth.

"Would you want a man like this to run around free to rape and sell other girls? Some younger than you?" Ryuuen shot back, his impatience returning. This is why he sometimes couldn't stand the thought of working along side idealistic civilians. Some people just don't understand that the world is a better place without certain individuals.

Miaka bit her lip, unsure of how to respond. On the one hand it's wrong to kill, but on the other hand this guy tried to rape them. She just didn't know what was right.

"Still, no need to be so gruesome" the stranger cautiously criticized, his coloring green as he remembered the fate of the man before hi death.

"They didn't threaten to rape you" Ryuuen informed him, "Besides, you're a man and a manly looking one at that, what would you know about attempted rape?"

"Point" he backed off, hoping not to anger the merciless woman. He didn't know how strong she was, but he didn't want to risk anything. Hey, he may be a Suzaku Shichiseishi, but that doesn't mean he wants to be a eunuch anytime soon.

"Is he dead?" Yui tilted her head to the other slave-trader.

"No just unconscious"

"Why didn't you kill him? That'd be one rapist less in this desert" Ryuuen tried to glean the stranger's intentions.

"I'm a fighter, not a killer"

'Great, another idyllic moron. Fan-fucking-tastic.' "If you won't do it I will" either this guy was for real or he was the mastermind that realized his plan went down the drain and is attempting damage control.

"No need—"

"Oh yes there is." Yui interrupted the stranger, "If it weren't for her, we'd be sold and raped ten-times over. If we let this guy live, chances are another girl won't be as lucky as we were"

"What kind of scum just abandons his partner to torture, anyway?" Ryuuen snarled icily. Before the stranger or Miaka could play Voice of Morality, Ryuuen had plunged the already bloody kunai on the man's jugular vein. Why make him bleed more than necessary if you're only going to kill him?

The stranger, nervous, tried to get away from the odd females. Well, except for the redhead, she seemed to be the only one that believed in second chances. From the looks of the plum haired girl, if he tried to wiggle money out of her, he'd pay for it big time. "Well, I'm glad you three are alright, but I've got places to be—"

"Actually, we'd like to have some assistance" Ryuuen purred, his garnet eyes pining the boy on the spot. 'Not bad, if he isn't the big mastermind I wouldn't mind doing him' he licked his lips. The young man had dark teal hair, somewhere between azure blue and beryl green, with amethyst eyes that spoke of maturity. His skin was dark, with rough calluses on his hands from manual labor and martial arts. He had a nice body, strong muscles that were stretched out all over, a perfect balance for speed and strength. Neither the arms nor the legs had proportionally more muscles than the other, meaning that he equally used his upper and lower body in combat. 'All in all, I'd say he's a Shaolin Kung Fu master.'

'My best bet for beating him, then, is by long-rage combat. I've got more than enough earth and plant jutsu for that. If all else fails, then sneak attacks will do too, he probably wont be expecting a blow from behind, if his morality is not an act.' Ryuuen clinically analyzed.

"Um, I'd love to help but—"

"Unless of course, you're actually a part of the slave-traders and want to tell the big boss of the failure." Ryuuen studied him, trying to see what his reaction would be. He already knew that the other wasn't what he'd accused him of, but maybe the insinuation of being connected to the traders might make him panic because he had paid them to off Ryuuen…or Tsukino, or whoever was supposed to read the book in the first place.

"NO! Why would you think that!?!?" He honestly was shocked, as if someone had just told him that the sky made of water, the earth was made of air and the sea was made of dirt.

"Client then?"

"I saved you didn't I!" he roared, "why would I do that if I wanted those bastards to sell you to me!?!"

"To lure us into a false sense of security only to backstab us. Or maybe so that you won't have to pay the traders to begin with."

"Let's get one thing straight, lady" he started, fury etched on his handsome face, "I hate the mere thought of slavery and having a human being as a bed pet sickens me more than you can imagine. I am not a part of this disgusting little, arrgh!"

'Well, he isn't lying.' Ryuuen's internal lie-detector told him. 'And the traders' presence was by pure chance as well, they were surprised upon seeing us. So what the fuck is going on?!'

"I believe him" Miaka's high voice said with conviction and innocent determination. 'A thirteen-year old, definitely thirteen.' "I mean, he did save us, right?"

Her more world-weary friend stopped glancing at the boy with suspicion after his rant, but she was still tense.

"Then, if you're not any of these things" Ryuuen smiled in apology, "Then I don't suppose a chivalrous man such as yourself would mind accompanying us to the nearest village?"

"That'll be 20 ryo" the boy said automatically.

"Ryo?" Ryuuen quirked an eyebrow. All of the hidden villages used yen, there was nowhere that Ryuuen knew that used another monetary system. Apprehensively, Ryuuen recalled Yui's theory as to their whereabouts: _it's true, we're in the Universe of the Four Gods!_

"What, did you expect I'd do this little service for free?" the boy looked incredulous, "Money's what makes the world go 'round, dontcha know?"

"We could really use the help, please! We don't have any money!!" Miaka pleaded, "At least, Yui and me don't"

Yui slapped her hand on her face. 'Either she didn't want him to know their broke or she didn't want him to know her name' Ryuuen mused.

"It's 'Yui and I,' Miaka." Yui absentmindedly corrected. 'Oh what the Hell' Yui mentally shrugged.

Facing the boy, Ryuuen thought fast, 'If, and I mean a big if, we're in the book, then I don't think it'd be prudent to let the locals know we're from another world'

"I too, am without money" Ryuuen started diplomatically, he was pretty sure that this guy was just a decent man that tried to save three girls from traders, might as well not piss him off, "Nevertheless, once we get to the nearest town I will make some money and pay you back with it, I swear on my honor."

The boy gave him an odd look, "It's rare for women to make money without a man or a family helping them" he commented.

Pushing his anger down at the sexist remark, Ryuuen only allowed his upper lip to quirk into a faint snarl, "And I suppose that women also kill their would be rapists before the fuckers can touch them often, huh?"

"How do I know you won't leave before you pay me?"

"How do I know you will lead us to a safe place?"

"Stop!" Yui yelled, "We need to get out of here now! There might be more of those guys coming here even as we speak!"

"Yeah, besides, what kind of hero are you! Asking beautiful damsels money for saving them!" Miaka joined her friend.

"How about we solve the payment here and now," Ryuuen said, "I'll give you half of my weapons, you can use them or sell them. Will that cover it?"

The boy warred with himself, weighing his need for money with his conscious at leaving the 'pretty girl' relatively weaponless.

"Look you—" soft blue light surrounded Yui as she made a motion towards the boy in anger, "AUGH!"

"YUI-CHAN!" Miaka shrieked.

Ryuuen and the boy lunged for the glowing blonde, Ryuuen beating the other boy to the punch as he forcefully grabbed Yui's arm, establishing a connection, then used his free hand to make the hand seals required for "KAI!"

The light was forced from Yui's body by Ryuuen's chakra. 'Apparently, this heavenly chakra and regular chakra don't mix well. Or regular chakra is stronger and amplified' Ryuuen hoped that it was the latter rather than the former. Stuck in an unknown world for equally mysterious reasons did not make him feel safe and warm, he needed any advantage he could get at this stage.

Yui, spent from the powerful chakra blow, passed out in Ryuuen's arms. The boy and Miaka looked relieved that nothing had happened to the blonde; nonetheless, the former gazed at Ryuuen in an odd mix of fear and hope.

"How did you…" he gestured towards Yui.

'So much for lying in wait until the enemy opens the gate. But, it was either that, or let whatever that light was supposed to do happen' Ryuuen reconciled with himself. "I'm a shinobi or what is more commonly known as a ninja"

* * *

So, what's the verdict guys? Like it? Hate it? Tolerate it? Should I continue? Or should I just chuck it?


End file.
